What makes a mother? Are you a mother if you gave birth? If you had a C section? If you lost a child? If you had a miscarriage? 

Are you a mother if you needed donor egg? If you needed donor sperm? If you needed a gestational carrier? 

Are you a mother if you froze your eggs so you could have a child someday? Are you a mother if you are doing IVF, again? If you are trying, and hoping, and praying, and testing? 

Are you a mother if you stopped because you couldn’t face another negative pregnancy test? Another poor outcome? 

Are you a mother if your family has stepchildren, foster kids, or adopted kids? 

Yes. You are a mother. 

One of the toughest parenting decisions a person can make is to try to have a child. To decide to raise a child. And to risk your heart for a child. Even if you don’t have a child in your arms yet, your decisions and your love make you deserving of celebration this Mothers Day. 

Your bravery and hope are what make you a mother. The pain, sacrifice, scans, shots, money, time, and tears are all acts of love for your child-to-be. 

Many of you dread Mothers Day. You aren’t getting sticky breakfast in bed with handmade cards and pony bead necklaces. You aren’t getting snuggles and kisses. Right now you are doing all the work and getting none of the reward. But you deserve celebrating too. You are entitled to a weekend getaway, or flowers, or brunch with your childfree friends. You are entitled to jewelry and massages and facials and yoga in the park. You deserve this even if you have to provide it for yourself. You deserve celebrating because you are already doing hard parenting out of an incredible ocean of love. 

So from Kindbody to you, Happy Mothers Day!

Dr. Kristen Cain
Dr. Kristen Cain
Dr. Cain is a dual board-certified in Reproductive Endocrinology and Obstetrics and Gynecology. She received her fellowship at the University of California Los Angeles, after completing her MD and her residency at Johns Hopkins. Her expertise includes infertility, fertility preservation, IVF, PCOS, uterine anomalies, and fertility planning. She is passionate about patient advocacy and has worked successfully to defeat personhood legislation in North Dakota.