The holidays can be a time of warmth, celebration, and connection—but also a time when conversations and comparisons feel a little closer to the surface. For many, this season brings joy. For others, especially those hoping to grow their families or wondering what the next chapter looks like, it can bring up unexpected emotions.
If you’re not in a relationship right now, or if you’ve been thinking about what family-building might look like for you in the future, you’re not alone. The holidays can amplify questions about timing, relationships, and expectations—but with preparation, self-compassion, and boundaries, you can move through the season in a way that protects your peace and honors where you are today.
When Someone Asks, “Why Aren’t You Pregnant Yet?” or Says, “You’ll Be Next!”
Even when said with love, comments like these can sting. They can bring up feelings of sadness, frustration, or even shame—especially if you’re uncertain about your next steps, or if the journey hasn’t gone as planned.
Before heading into a gathering, it can help to prepare a few phrases that feel natural to you so you’re not caught off guard.
Try saying:
- “That’s something I’m still figuring out.”
- “I’m taking things one step at a time.”
- “If and when it’s right, I’ll be excited to share.”
Or gently redirect the conversation:
- “Ha, we’ll see! How’s your new job going?”
- “That’s a story for another day—what’s new with you?”
If a question feels too personal, it’s okay to say:
- “I’d rather not get into that.”
- “I know you mean well, but that’s something I like to keep private.”
Setting boundaries isn’t rude—it’s self-care. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your body, your timeline, or your hopes for the future.
When People Assume It’s Easy
Comments like “You’ll meet someone any day now,” or “Once you relax, it’ll happen” are often meant to comfort, but they can feel minimizing when you’re navigating uncertainty. You might respond with:
- “Thanks for the encouragement—I’m focusing on what feels right for me right now.”
- “I know everyone’s story unfolds differently.”
Or keep it light:
- “Maybe! For now, I’m just enjoying the moment.”
You don’t have to correct or educate anyone unless you want to. Protecting your emotional energy is more important than helping someone else feel comfortable. If a conversation feels too heavy, take a break—step outside, grab a drink, or text a friend who understands.
How Friends and Family Can Support
If you’re a friend, sibling, or relative, you may wonder how to best support someone who’s not in a relationship right now, or who’s unsure about their path to parenthood. Your words matter.
Avoid saying:
- “Don’t worry, it’ll happen soon.”
- “You’re too picky.”
- “You have plenty of time.”
- “Why don’t you just freeze your eggs?”
Instead, try:
- “Thanks for sharing that with me. How are you feeling about everything?”
- “I can imagine that’s a lot to think about—what kind of support would feel best for you right now?”
- “I’m here for you, whether you want to talk about it or not.”
- “Whatever your path looks like, I’m proud of you.”
Sometimes the most healing thing you can offer is presence—listening without fixing, supporting without assumptions.
Protecting Your Energy This Season
You’re allowed to design your holiday experience in a way that feels right for you. That might mean skipping an event, spending time with friends who understand, or creating new traditions that reflect your life today.
A few ideas:
- Choose where you show up. Give yourself permission to say no.
- Create space for calm. Take walks, journal, meditate, or simply rest.
- Celebrate connection. Spend time with those who bring out your peace, not your pressure.
- Practice self-compassion. You’re not behind. You’re just on your timeline.
The holidays can magnify the contrast between what we hoped life would look like and where we find ourselves now. But they can also be a time to pause, reconnect with what truly matters, and remind ourselves that there’s no single “right” way to build a life or a family.
If this season feels complicated, be gentle with yourself. You don’t need to have it all figured out—you just need to keep taking care of yourself, one day at a time. At Kindbody, we believe your path—whatever it looks like—is valid, worthy, and full of possibility. You’re allowed to protect your heart, set boundaries, and define what this season means for you.
