In recent years, conversations about fertility and family building have become more visible in the workplace. For LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, this shift has been especially important. More LGBTQ+ people are actively planning to grow their families through IVF, IUI, reciprocal IVF, surrogacy, and adoption, yet access to coverage still varies widely across employers.
While some companies are expanding inclusive family-building benefits, many still have gaps in coverage for LGBTQ+ employees, particularly around donor gametes, surrogacy, fertility preservation, and adoption. Today, only a portion of large employers offer fertility benefits, which means many LGBTQ+ employees are still paying out of pocket for medically necessary and emotionally significant care.
These journeys can be costly, complex, and emotionally demanding. Inclusive fertility benefits help reduce financial strain while also signaling that all paths to parenthood are valued equally.
Asking for fertility benefits can feel personal, but you are far from alone. Many employers have added or expanded coverage directly in response to employee requests, including from LGBTQ+ employees and allies advocating for more inclusive policies.
So how do you ask for fertility and family-building benefits at work?
Do your research
Start by understanding both the business case and the inclusion gap.
For LGBTQ+ employees, fertility benefits are not only about IVF coverage. They often need inclusive policies that support a wider range of pathways, including:
- IVF and IUI
- Reciprocal IVF
- Egg or sperm donation
- Fertility preservation prior to gender-affirming care
- Surrogacy support and coordination
- Adoption and foster care support
From an employer perspective, fertility and family-building benefits are increasingly tied to recruitment, retention, and inclusion goals. They are often positioned as a core component of DEI and total rewards strategy.
Research shows that employees who receive fertility coverage are more likely to stay with their employer, report higher engagement, and feel greater loyalty. This applies strongly to LGBTQ+ employees, for whom inclusive benefits can be a deciding factor in whether a workplace feels safe and supportive.
Approach HR (or bring in an ally)
Talking to HR about fertility and family building can feel vulnerable, especially for LGBTQ+ employees who may not be out at work or who have experienced previous exclusion.
If you prefer not to do it alone, consider involving an ally. This could be:
- A manager you trust
- A colleague or mentor
- A member of an LGBTQ+ Employee Resource Group (ERG)
- A benefits or People team advocate
You are not alone in needing these benefits. Many LGBTQ+ employees and their allies are raising these same questions across organizations. In some cases, an ally or ERG leader can help initiate or amplify the conversation in a way that feels safer and more comfortable.
There is strength in numbers
Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) are often one of the most effective ways to drive change in workplace benefits.
For LGBTQ+ employees, LGBTQ+ ERGs (and intersecting groups such as parents, caregivers, or DEI councils) can play a key role in:
- Highlighting gaps in family-building coverage for LGBTQ+ pathways
- Bringing visibility to shared needs across the organization
- Partnering with HR to shape more inclusive benefits design
In some cases, ERGs or employee groups may also choose to organize a simple employee petition or sign-on letter. This can be a powerful way to demonstrate broad, visible demand for inclusive fertility and family-building benefits, especially when it reflects multiple identities and departments across the company. A petition does not need to be complicated; even a clear statement of need paired with employee signatures can help leadership understand the level of interest and urgency.
If you want to bring this forward through an ERG, consider reaching out to the ERG lead and asking:
- Whether inclusive family-building benefits are already on their agenda
- If they would be willing to sponsor or elevate the conversation with HR
- How you can contribute employee perspectives or stories (if you are comfortable)
Collective advocacy can be especially powerful in making sure LGBTQ+ family-building needs are not overlooked in broader fertility benefit discussions.
We can help
If you’re interested in bringing Kindbody to your workplace, we can support that conversation. You can fill out this form and we can reach out to your company on your behalf, either anonymously or directly, depending on your preference.
